Author: Kevin Gilhooly

In order to perform religious ceremonies, you need to be ordained. “Ordained” just means a Church has invested you with ministerial authority.

“Ordained” to a Catholic kid means giving up your sex life, studying for years, and then having to work on the weekends. There are other Churches with usually more liberal restrictions. I would get ordained there.

The Universal Life Church is well-established and has a number of branches – much like there are many Protestant Churches (with about as much love for each other.) I learned about it because the officiant for our wedding was a healing minister from the ULC. (She was also a notary public, since Florida didn’t recognize the ULC at the time, but so it goes.)

This is the original ULC: https://www.ulchq.com/ and is the main offshoot: https://www.themonastery.org/ (it also wins the Google war.)

My dog and I are ordained in the Church of Gnome: https://www.churchofgnome.org/

I am also an American Marriage Minister: https://theamm.org/

You could certainly start your own Church, but if you just want the ability to marry two of your friends, then one of these (or many others) is probably a much simpler way to go.

I would also check the ULC or AMM websites for the regulations in your State, since they do vary. You can also check with the State, if you can find the regulations. The two Churches have links to the State info, which saves a search.

Make sure you know how to do the ceremony legally wherever you are doing the ceremony and make sure any pre-conditions are met.

“Blah, blah blah. I do.”

“Blah blah blah. I do.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife.”

(A man is pronounced two things in his life: married and dead.)

Your vows are a public statement that you intend to marry each other. Then, your officiant tells you that you’re married.

So, Intention and Pronouncement.

The legal details are that the officiant has to be legally able to officiate weddings, the happy couple has a valid marriage license and (usually) the officiant makes sure the license is signed, witnessed and returned to the civic authority in charge of marriages (county clerk, probably.)

The vows are your chance to explain to each other what you are putting in the relationship and what you expect to take out. (My wife had in the vows that I was responsible for killing bugs.)

My advice? Keep it simple. You don’t need to list everything. You don’t need to thank your entire family tree for getting you to this point. Just say why you are willing to spend the rest of your life with one person, and then mention that the person is standing next to you.

One advantage of using a wedding officiant as opposed to having a “church” wedding is that you can design the ceremony to meet your needs and desires.

I’ve been married twice. The first time was a church ceremony (even though it was in my parents’ house) and the second was on a schooner off of Key West. The second one has lasted 25 years, so I obviously recommend a boat wedding.

The boat came with a wedding officiant (a healing minister from the Universal Life Church) and she sent us her usual ceremony. It was lovely, but I thought it was too long and it wasn’t us. So, I wrote my own. My wife had edit rights, but we agreed on much of it.

I’m sure you can have ChatGPT write you a wedding, but I would recommend you put some thought into it. Better yet, put yourselves into it.

A ceremony doesn’t have to be long. The goal is for the marriage to be long.